A miracle happened. It's wonderful. But it is also hard. Before you start hearing ‘we did that’ and ‘we like this’, I thought I’d write a brief confession as to what happened and why I am acting all weird. Ha, I’ll avoid the cliche of love (since I wrote about it so many times) and get down to the nature of the problem. Something crazy happened in my life. I call it Love.
I have long been longing for love. Trying to make everyone around me fit my ideal vision, Prince Charming, who seized to exist. One day, I decided to stop searching and focus purely on myself. And that’s when the storm hit. Without a warning, it caught me quite unprepared. But instead of thunders, it played the softest tones, the sweetest lyrics. I was shocked by what I was experiencing and was kind of resistant to let it happen to me.
This person entered my life slowly and quietly. A year ago, we had our first encounter (and it wasn’t great!). Then we met here and there, but nothing special (leave alone he had a girlfriend at that time - RUN!). This year, our meetings became more frequent but still - nothing special. Not until my birthday when we decided to spend a weekend together. And that’s when the iceberg began to melt.
For the first time in my life, I found someone who didn’t judge me. Who accepted me with all my flaws and celebrated all my beauties. He adored every part of me, my sharp words, my curved body, my intense questions and soft looks. He was attentive, tender and kind. Though I’ve been holding back for a long time and still couldn’t quite get the hang of what was happening between us, I surrender.
During the next bank holiday, we decided to spend three days together. Away at my parent’s cottage, with no distractions, just us. And it was HEAVEN! Every single moment of those three days I will long cherish in my heart... Maybe forever.
And that’s why I need to apologise but can’t promise that from now on you won't hear ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ and other terms that drive me crazy hearing from all my involved girlfriends. I promise I’ll TRY my best and avoid using 'we' as much as possible! You might also become annoyed by me saying his name, again, a little too often. So please, be patient with me, I’m doing my best!
Unfortunately, my mind’s been preoccupied with him significantly more often than I’m used to with other subjects. His name is sticky, it sticks to my mind. And if it should end tomorrow, what we have now is perfect!
Whatever happens next is irrelevant, what matters now is the presence. And if we will be together for a week, a month or a year, I will try my best to always remember us this way. Because what we have is unique and maybe... MAYBE, if I close my eyes real tight and hold my breath real well, I would dare to whisper, deep in the night, when no-one is listening, that this might even be love...