No, this is not a cry to all the single gentlemen out there. Is it a confession of why I choose to be single and am happy as I am.
I have been single for some time. I have been in relationships for even more time. I love loving someone. I love loving myself. My strongest relationship up to this date has been with my parents. The second one with my best friend, my flatmate, my sister from another mister. Third comes the love of myself. Self-love is something I still need to work on but feel positive about the progress made over the past few moths. Call me selfish, but I am not willing to change for anyone in the world, would not want to, should not have to. I am who I am, and I am learning to love myself.
Some time ago, I freed myself from a long and emotionally draining relationship which took so much more away than what I got in return, but I do not regret being in it. It helped me realise who I am and who I want to be (both of which the ex-significant other did not seem to understand). So here I am again, ready to meet people, a bit less so to get my head messed up and, worse comes worse, have my heart broken. But if it is worth it, I am willing to take the risk.
It feels good being alone and not having to feel guilty about not sending a text, a thought or a tear in the same direction again and again. It is a freeing and, in a very sophisticated form, a relaxing feeling. It takes time to achieve a pure happiness, but I am happy to enter this undiscovered territory and, for the first time in a while, start focusing on my own emotions as oppose to what everybody else is feeling.
Listening to our song, I can still see his face and feel his touch, but it all belongs to the past. I am happy for what we had, I know that with someone else it will be different. Right now, I am enjoying the growing relationship I have with myself, with a strong support from a couple of friends who tag along and will always be there for me.
I encourage you to be yourself, too. It does not come easy (and this is coming from someone who spent her life pretending to be someone else). But everything has to come to an end, so here comes goodbye to the old, dependent me. Hello my new, independent me, nice to meet you – stay forever, please.