I rarely get emotional. I arrived at a stage where I doubted whether I am actually capable of feeling real emotions. I smile, I cry, both of which happen rarely and are hardly felt the way they look. Call me fake, I will laugh it off, although deep inside I’ll know you are right. Not showing emotions is my way of protection, so no one can hurt me. However, when I was invited to attend my brother’s wedding, I didn’t know what to expect. Furthermore, I was afraid that the ice-cold heart would result in embarrassing and awkward moments. Luckily, the contrary was true.
When my brother and his beautiful then-fiancee decided to get engaged, I was over the moon. It was no surprise and still, I was so excited about them taking their relationship to the next level. Not that it would rapidly change anything in the way they look, touch or think about each other, but it was a relevant statement to be made considering how much they’ve been through together.
The wedding was scheduled for May, so I ensured that it does not clash with any of my deadlines and was ready to cheer in the front row (the best part of going to a wedding of your relative is that you get to be on the edge of the spotlight). Considering I live abroad, had my degree to complete and, quite frankly, never had the closest of relationships with my brother, I was not the best man (hard to do in a woman’s body anyway). And so, I could just arrive an hour before the start, give out smiles and ribbons, look pretty, take pictures and get terribly drunk later in the night.
I didn’t attempt to take any pictures on the day, that was already taken care of. My mission was to take in as much as possible and always cherish this day in my memory. This turned out to be easier than I thought. When I saw a car with a cylinder arriving, I thought, hmm, cute. Then my brother appeared, all dressed up, and I couldn’t stop smiling. He looked so smart, so comfortable, so…. happy. This was the expression I kept seeing on his face for the rest of the day and no wonder, on his wedding day, he was the luckiest man in the world! At that point, I was still okay, happy to take up the role of greeting and decorating everyone.
On his wedding day, [my brother] was the luckiest man in the world!
Soon after we were asked to form a line, with my brother standing proudly at the end, my knees felt like jelly. As the music began playing, I eyes became watery. I haven’t been crying in a while, and probably never so instantly (apart from immediate physical pain). The bride occurred from around corner and I was amazed. I have seen enough romantic movies and worked in fashion long enough to witness many breathtaking outfits. Nothing, however, could compare to the beauty that was now slowly zooming in into my sight.
When I first saw Lenka on her wedding day, who now carries the same surname as me, I was stunned. I had shivers all over my body and when I looked at my brother’s tearful face, my eyes changed into two lakes. The sunny spells were bouncing off her glowing body, flooding the entire garden with sparks of joy. Throughout the time when the alternative of vows was being read, the newlyweds looked at each other with utter gratitude and thanks to be by each other's side. I couldn’t stop crying and smiling all day. It was a moment I never experienced before. I was so happy, so excited about what I was seeing, so shaky and touched by the exchange of emotions I witnessed. It was mind-blowing.
Looking back, I know I will hardly ever forget the way the two soon-to-be-husband-and-wife looked at each other on their wedding day. Recalling that moment brings a smile to my face (and a tear to my eye). Thank you, in-laws, for creating a wonderful energy and teaching me what romance looks like. Wishing you that loving look on your faces to stay on forever.